Who is in control of your life?
Tim Shuman | ACSI Senior Director, International Division
Teachers are control freaks. I should know I was one.
I’m not saying control is wrong. Christian teachers are given an immense responsibility to lead students to learn, and that means controlling and owning the space and everything that goes on in it: the wall decor, the plans, the pace, the tone, the subject matter, the assessments, the order, and discipline – in other words, every minute of every class. All of this requires excellent planning and execution.
Of course, this is good and right. And let’s not forget what a privilege it is to teach about God and His great world. However, for someone as driven as me, that level of control and ownership without limits can go sideways. Due to the skills I first developed in the classroom, I was soon invited up the leadership ladder at Black Forest Academy, assuming one leadership role after another. This eventually culminated in my appointment as Director in my 12th year of service. All was going well until… about four years into headship, my freakish levels of control finally caught up with me, and I had a stress-related collapse.
The short version of that collapse is that while I was doing a good job, I was attempting to control and own too much to the point where I was working hard for God but leaving little left for Him. Eventually, I was sidelined for several months with a bout of vertigo, exacerbated by exhaustion. This sidelining turned out to be a tremendous gift. You can read the entire story and what I learned at my blog, but let me share this one quick lesson with you.
While on a solo retreat during my months of recovery, I became very aware of how controlling I was and how, by owning everything, I was leaving little time for prayer and God. This was when I started to pray differently. 1) Every morning, I began by returning the school I led back to God, reminding Him, as Moses did in Exodus 33:12-13, that these people, this school, were His, not mine. 2) I also started to open my hands, palms up, imagining the school resting in my hands and, as David did in Psalm 142:1-2, lifting it all to God, saying aloud, “It’s not mine, it’s yours. I give it back to you. Help me to serve you and your people well.” This was a significant part of my healing, as I put God back in charge of my work and life.
How about you? Before your appropriate control and ownership cross a line, take time daily to lift your classroom, your department, and your responsibilities to God and give them back to Him and rest in His peace.
Blessings to you wherever you are in the world.
